Being Neurodivergent in the Workplace at Christmas
Most workplaces aren’t designed for neurodivergent employees. This is the reason why we need to ask for Reasonable Adjustments when we are employed just to make the environment somewhat bearable. Even then our perceived ‘poor communication style’ means it is still uncomfortable for us and we are always the ones having to fit in. We are constantly being asked to change our communication style or working style as the PNT (Predominant Neurotype) employees seem to be incapable of meeting us halfway! They cannot or will not be adaptable. This is our experience for 10 months of the year (January – October).
If January to October are bad then November and December are horrific. In fact, it probably starts earlier when the Christmas Party is announced. As a Neurodivergent person the mere mention of the Christmas Party is enough to cause a minor shutdown.
What is the problem with the Christmas Party?
1. It is held after work – I will have used up all my social battery in the office and the thought of having my social interactions extended by another 4 hours is overwhelming
2. Overcrowded venue – It will be held (obviously) at the busiest time of year. This means I have to endure sensory overload in a crowded restaurant with so much noise, too much lighting etc.
3. Secret Santa – Why Why Why. I always get the person in the office who either makes fun of me and my autistic traits or someone I hardly know. So, a scented candle it is then. How can I put any thought into a gift if I know they don’t like me or know me. Also, if I receive a scented candle it’s being saved for next years’ event.
4. Having to pick my meal many weeks before the event – I don’t know what I’ll feel like for tonight’s dinner let alone 10 weeks’ time! My safe food/choice may have changed in that time.
5. Having to make my face look somewhere near happy for hours – My face is expressionless if I’m feeling happy. (It does show however an annoyance for fools.) Therefore, I am constantly having to tell myself to look happy, smile remember eye-contact. This means I can’t actually hear the conversation.
6. Buffets in the Office are no better – I would love to be first up to the buffet before other grubby hands have been on it and then take my food to a quiet corner, eat it and go back to my desk and work. Apparently that’s not entering into the spirit of things and I’m forced to play a stupid party game.
The anxiety of this event builds solely all through November and December until it is actually affecting my work.
Then there are the endless questions about how I am spending Christmas! My perfect Christmas Day is me, my dog and my body weight in cheese. I’d spend the day in my cosy cottage, fire lit and lots of Miss Marple. Apparently to PNT’s that’s awful and why am I having to spend the day on my own. I must join them – No I Mustn’t!. Stop projecting your best Christmas Day onto me. If I’m happy in my PJs all day then that’s okay. Stop making me the office gossip because I prefer to do things differently.
Christmas is stressful for everyone so lets give the gift of kindness and allow people to choose if they want to go to the Christmas Party or take part in Secret Santa. Let’s also give the gift of support and support other’s choices of how they spend their yuletide.
Merry Christmas!
